My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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