he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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