I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
