i think my mom watched the whole time
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
