Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
