Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i think my cat just said my name.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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