Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.