No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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