guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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