RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
