did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Fuck appropriateness.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He did a backflip because drugs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
