we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize