She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
