Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
