She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
