i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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