Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
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I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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