I seem to have left my pride at pride
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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