The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
