I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
