i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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