I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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