I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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