Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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