His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
