Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
