I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
