is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
