I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
