Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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