Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
