yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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