I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
