I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
did you just send me my own nude
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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