just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
