Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I want a musical about memes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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