you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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