Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
