i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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