I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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