Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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