ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
