My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
