cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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