...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
