did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
