Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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