dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
