I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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