My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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