I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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