You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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