I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
