Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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