I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
