my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
