Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just high enough for therapy.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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