hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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