he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
