Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
