I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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