is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We left an ass print on the piano.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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