I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize